I just wanted to write this post as I my head is full of thoughts at the moment.
I have had a lovely busy weekend, but one of the best things that happened that after about fifteen or sixteen years of not seeing her, I met up with an old friend. We used to be close. There were four of us girls and we all somehow lost touch with each other around the same time. I guess we were all growing up and going in different directions. We never fell out or anything, we just changed is my guess. In your early twenties you really start to explore the world and our journeys just stopped running parallel at some point…
Well, we befriended each other on Facebook about five years ago, but we were living in different countries at the time, so the subject of meeting up never came up. I have moved back a couple of years ago and we finally decided to catch up. It was such a treat!
Seeing her now after all these years still felt so familiar. In age we are only a week or two apart, but our lives have been so different. It was so interesting and heartbreaking to hear what she had been up to in those intervening years. Life has not always been easy for her. I always looked up to her when we were younger and she is still such a strong person, who is so worthy of my admiration. She comes at life from a very different angle than I do, but that is what life’s experiences do to you, I suppose
We spoke about the ‘olden days’ and I was surprised to learn how insecure she had been. She had always come across so confident. But then, I think I used to just come across as if I did not care what anybody thought, whilst actually I worried about that constantly.
I do not miss being a teenager or my early twenties. Sure, there is a sense of nostalgia and I had wonderful times, but now, at the wrong side of 35, I know I am more confident and happy than I have ever been. I finally feel like I know myself, that I have stopped caring so much about what other people think of me. I am who I am now, and if someone does not like that, well, that’s their problem. Being reminded of teenage angst I have suddenly realised how wonderful that is.
Sure, I have some regrets, like everyone, and I still have some body issues and I still second guess myself all the time, but I have realised that is normal. Everone does. Perfection does not exist! But I know I have a pretty good life; I have a wonderful husband and a daughter that means the world to me. I live in an amazing place in an amazing house with the people and animals I love. I am lucky.
And yesterday, I built an old friendship anew and we left each other with a big hug and a promise to meet up again soon. Life can be bloody good sometimes and I just wanted to share that.